Prey

I was just staring out the patio door watching my puppy as she eyed a Robin. In the past week, she started chasing birds. It’s quite entertaining to watch because she hasn’t quite mastered the skill of stalking and she just starts wildly running through the yard after them. At this point, I’m not sure the Robin has much to be worried about. Oddly though, I found myself cheering for my pup – almost hoping she could catch the bird. Now I’m a huge softy at heart. For Pete’s sake, I’m the one who rescued seven baby raccoons from being smashed at a busy road crossing (but that’s another story). One day in high school I hit a cat while I was driving... I had to pull over because I was bawling so hard. I’m the one always cheering for the antelope to get away from the tiger on the jungle chases or the buffalo to outwit the lion. I cringe at the moment when they make a kill and the poor creature lies defenseless – it’s almost as if my very being cries out against it.

However, as I’ve watched my pup grow, I’ve seen again and again that her prey drive is woven into the very fabric of her being. Nobody taught her that, it’s just part of who she is. It’s how God made her. Now, knowing that was God’s design, why do I struggle so much with it? In the wild, if that tiger doesn’t catch the antelope (or whatever else it’s chasing) and that happens often enough, that tiger will die. Now the antelope can eat grass and whatever other plants it can find, but because the tiger needs meat, I cheer against it. Why is it better for one to die than the other?

As I sat and pondered my “soft heart,” it dawned on my just how much a hypocrite I am. I hate the thought of death, yet I don’t bat an eye at eating meat every night for dinner because I don’t have to see the process it goes through (unless I’m butchering chickens at the Ternes farm). I totally understand where vegetarians are coming from and their plight for people to really think about the food they eat. I’ve pondered becoming a vegetarian a time or two, knowing that my lifestyle affects the lives of numerous creatures. But watching my pup I started to think about it differently.

I firmly believe God didn’t originally design our planet to work in this fashion – with death of one creature being needed to bring life to another, and I don’t believe it will always be like this. One day Christ will return and there will be a new heaven and a new earth and I don’t think carnage will be a necessary part of it. However, right now, it is. And if I can’t accept that God designed it that way, than I need to reevaluate how I view God. Does that mean I’ll go hunting just for sport? No. Nor will I probably ever find any joy in seeing a creature die (and it will most likely always cause me to cry). I firmly believe that life should be highly valued and the weight of death strongly considered. I also believe humans are MUCH more valuable than animals. With that said, I do believe God designed some creatures to be prey and some creatures to be predators.

That statement reminds me of Romans 9 where it talks about God designing some people for noble purposes and some for common use, how some are designed to be objects of righteousness, and some objects of wrath. I don’t understand this, and I can’t say I really like it. If I could have my way, everyone would repent, and everyone would go to heaven, but that’s not the way it works. On the flip-side, I’m so grateful that we’re not all damned as we deserve to be, but that God has chosen to save some and desires for all to be saved. God is sovereign, He is good, and He is also just. Those things ALL must fit together. When I don’t understand a piece of it, I can’t just make up my own theology or discredit His design. After all, death had to come to His Son, a painful, bloody death, in order for me to be made righteous. God has a purpose in His plan and I need to accept the good parts, the bad parts, and the parts that I don’t understand.

Thanks pup for chasing that bird and bringing about a theological discussion in my head. I’ll try not to cry when you finally catch one some day.

Meet Savannah Mae

Time to get my bum into gear and start blogging again. No promises, but I’ll do my best to keep it up. Our most recent adventure was to buy a puppy and take on the hefty task of trying to raise and train her. I spent the last 9 months baby-sitting my nephews – with that in mind, I feel like I have my own two year old. Sometimes she’s sweet as a button and my heart just melts, but other times…. oh goodness… she can be a pistol! So without further ado, here’s our little lady – Miss Savannah.

7 weeks - the day we got her

8 weeks - with a delicious looking treat in her mouth

9 weeks - "Mom, isn't this how everyone sleeps?

10 weeks- getting ready to play with her favorite toy: a ball on a string

11 weeks - visiting my parent's house for the first time

She's pretty cute, I will admit! She had cute little floppy ears when we first got her, but a week later one ear went up and by the next week both were up. Based on her paws and big ears, we're thinking she might be one good sized German Shepherd. As long as she behaves she can get as big as she wants (if only she'd keep the puppy fur!).

Today she found a cockroach. I'd share the video, but it's kind of gross. She had a blast chasing it around... until it got stuck to her nose. It was pretty funny. It met its demise with a nice loud crunch that nearly had me gagging!

One final picture:
This is how she was sleeping one day last week. How can that possibly be comfortable?

Fun with my nephews

Silly faces

Making a fort

Hanging out in a makeshift house

Adorable smiles!

A "brief" pondering about Christmas

Last week I was pondering the common themes of Christmas. On one hand you have the baby in a manger representing the Christian perspective of what Christmas is all about. On the other hand you have Santa Claus, which has become the commercialized symbol of Christmas. There is a steady debate among the Christian community as to whether Santa Claus belongs in Christmas at all, and if he does, the question arises, "How do you reconcile Santa Claus and Christ?" I'm a fairly big blog reader when I have time and I came across this article by Mark Driscoll about what they tell their kids about Santa. In brief, they talk to their kids about who St. Nicholas really was and help them decipher between what is real and what is imaginary and allow them to enjoy it all. To give a little background on Saint Nicholas (from the article):

"Nicholas was born in the third century in Patara, a village in what is now Turkey. He was born into an affluent family, but his parents died tragically when he was quite young. His parents had raised him to be a devout Christian, which led him to spend his great inheritance on helping the poor, especially children. He was known to frequently give gifts to children, sometimes even hanging socks filled with treats and presents. Perhaps his most famous act of kindness was helping three sisters. Because their family was too poor to pay for their wedding dowry, three young Christian women were facing a life of prostitution until Nicholas paid their dowry, thereby saving them from a horrible life of sexual slavery."

Where people land on this issue is totally a matter of personal choice and conscience - that's not really where I'm going with all of this. As I pondered the two "symbols" of Christmas, I started thinking about if I was Saint Nicholas. I spend my life striving to live for Christ - my redeemer. I pour all that I have into helping those in need because, after all, Christ said, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me," (Matthew 33:40). I am known as a follower of Jesus Christ, the Christ who hung on a cross to die and then rose again only a couple hundred years before I lived. I worshiped the one true King and spent my life serving him, so much so that I was canonized as a saint. What would my reaction be if I knew that a few thousand years later, I would become the secular symbol of Christmas? That I would be viewed as the "alternative" symbol for Christ at Christmas time. If I knew that children would be worshiping (or at least focusing) on me at Christmas time instead of the Christ that I was focused on all of my life. How devastated would I be if I knew that somehow I had become a figure that diverted the focus away from Christ, my Savior?

I can only imagine his devastation if he knew how his image had been distorted, to know that he was being used as a distraction rather than a means to glorify the Savior he worshiped. If I were him, I think I would fall down weeping and through my tears proclaim, "Why are you all looking at me, a mere sinner? Why aren't you looking at our Savior, the one who redeemed us, the true gift-giver. He is the one who can redeem our souls and give us the gift of eternal saving grace? What are my measly gifts in comparison to that? Stop looking at me - look at HIM!"

Who knows what he would really be thinking, but I can't imagine he would be proud or thankful of how we have chosen to honor his life. I started thinking about how I would want to be remembered and what I would want people to say about me. I long to be known as a servant of Christ - one who lived and died worshiping the one true God. I'm guessing that is what Saint Nicholas would want to be known for too, and maybe that is what I will tell my children about him. I want them to have fun at Christmas time, I want it to be a joyous event, but I also don't want to do a great disservice to a man who lived his life for Christ, nor do I want to lose sight of why we celebrate Christmas at all - the birth of our Savior.

DPS Update

We finally have a little news regarding Andrew’s job application process. The last time we heard anything was back in May when we were told that due to everything happening with the economy and budget cuts, the academy was no longer a sure thing, but rather tentative based on funding from a federal grant. If the academy happens, it will start late September. At that time, it was estimated they would find out the status of the grant in early August and Andrew and I guessed they would wait until after that to extend final offers if the academy was a go. Unfortunately, even if the academy happened it would be possible that Andrew would not get an offer… two big variables that would decide a lot for our family in the future.

We have been told again and again that no news is good news throughout this whole process, so we weren’t concerned that we hadn’t heard anything for nearly two months. Typically in the past we’ve been told that offers will be extended via the phone and bad news is sent via letter. With that in mind, you can imagine why Andrew would be a little nervous when he opened up the mailbox this past Friday and inside found a letter from DPS. When he first started reading the letter, however, it seemed to be merely a letter touching base with the candidates again informing them of the tentative academy and when they expected to get news regarding the federal grant. Much to our surprise, however, they decided to extend tentative final offers to those candidates who would be at the 2009 academy should it occur and Andrew got one of those offers. Praise God! We are ecstatic and so thankful that God has brought him one step closer.

Although I wanted to give everyone an update about the status of the DPS job, my primary reason for writing this post is to ask/beg that you would be fervently praying that the academy would get funding. If that is not God’s will, so be it… we will still give Him praise if it doesn’t happen, but our heart’s desire is that it would. It is likely that if the academy is cancelled this year, it will likely not happen again for another few years. The timing couldn’t be more perfect for Andrew to do it now while we still live close to Camp Dodge and we have no children. Again, we would ask that you would be praying that those processing the grants would find favor with the request of Iowa DPS and they would get funding for this year’s academy. Thank you all for your continual encouragement and prayer for us. We’ll be sure to update you as soon as we hear something!

Into Stuff

A few days ago, I was talking to someone I dearly love about Jesus. As we were talking, she told me a few times that she hadn't realized how into this stuff I am. It struck me in sort of a negative way because when I think "into stuff" I think religion or church traditions or even dark things like witchcraft or drugs. Being into stuff connotes being into something that is man-made, some grouping of ideas that you can take or leave depending on what suits you. I guess I don't see myself as being into stuff, but into Jesus. I'm not into religion. I'm not into denominations, church sects, or traditions. I'm into Jesus Christ. I'm into Him because He is the only one who has the power to save me, the power to redeem my sins, and the power to cleanse this wretched heart of mine. Out of my own free choice I've thwarted God, I've sinned in vile ways, I've defiled myself and other people. I've sinned against God and because of that, I deserve death, I deserve damnation, I deserve to pay the just penalty and spend eternity in hell. That's the truth and my conscience screams it at me.

I'm into Jesus because out of God's compassion for me, a vile, sinful person, my Father sent His Son to live on this earth, empowered by the Holy Spirit. He lived on this earth, was betrayed by men, was beaten, cursed, and hung on a shameful, cursed cross even though He never did anything wrong. He hung on a cross because He told everyone He was God and the only way to the Father. He made the claim that He was God which either makes Him a liar who deserves damnation just like me or it means that He was actually God and came to bring mankind the best news it had ever heard. He brought the news that He would die a painful death to take upon Himself our sins. He lead a perfect, blameless life in order to make the payment for our sins. He was the spotless lamb that was slaughtered in our place so that we could be made pure, so that we could have communion with God, so that we could spend eternity in the presence of a holy and righteous God. We deserved wrath because God is just and we violated Him. But God is compassionate and merciful and turned His wrath from us to Jesus so that those who have faith in His Son could have their sins forgiven because of Christ's spilled blood.

I'm into Jesus because He triumphed over Satan, sin, and death and rose from the grave victoriously so that I do not worship a dead God, but one who is alive, living, and breathing. I worship a triumphant God who one day will ride to earth on a white horse, speaking the Word of God, with the title "Lord of Lords and King of Kings" tattooed down His thigh. He will come to earth to bring God's wrath on those who have not trusted and worshiped the one true God, and to bring salvation and redemption to those who have.

I'm into Jesus because He freed me from my slavery to Satan and death and breathed new life into my dead heart. He put in me the Holy Spirit to teach me and guide me in His truths. He gave me a heart capable of loving a God that I despised and the ability to despise all the sin that I used to love. I'm into Jesus because He died for me while I still hated Him and rejected Him. I'm into Jesus because He saved me from myself and gave me the most precious gift possible: He gave me His blood in exchange for my sin. I'm into Jesus because He shed His blood for my friends and my family and for anyone who might come upon these words. I'm into Jesus because He will give the gift of His blood in exchange for your sin even though you've done nothing good to deserve it... trust Him as your Lord and Savior.

Plain and simple, I'm into Jesus Christ and I guess if that means I'm "into stuff," I'll take that label and wear it with honor and humble gratitude, it's the best claim I can make about myself.

what it means to be a woman

A few weeks ago I stumbled across a series on Proverbs by Mark Driscoll, a pastor in Seattle, Washington. This series has shaken, challenged, and refreshed me all at the same time. I often have an ache in my heart as I ponder my purpose, my future, and all that I am told by society. As a woman at a liberal college I constantly feel the pressure to “make the most of myself and my opportunities.” I have a bright future and brilliant career ahead of me, right? What happens when my urge is to flush all that down the toilet and do something really inspiring with my future… like be a mom and a great wife to my amazing husband? How have we come so far as to think that inspiring to be a mother is a waste of a time? Sometimes I find myself being sucked into this horrendous lie that our culture has come to embrace. When people ask what I want to do when I graduate, I shy away from saying what is really in my heart. Partly because I am afraid of getting the.. “oh, that’s all you want to do?” response, and partly because I am afraid that being bold would interfere with possible opportunities that I may want to pursue before Andrew and I have children. As the weeks have gone on this summer, I have felt God putting the weight on my heart that I cannot be silent about this area of life that I am so passionate about. God designed us in a very unique and purposeful way and it breaks my heart to see people’s misconceptions and offenses when it comes to that perfect design. Thank you to all you mothers who have sacrificed or hindered your “careers” in order to be the light of Christ to your child/children. I am so encouraged by you!

Stromboli

I've gotten lots of requests for this stromboli recipe, so here it is for all of you who asked. (Thanks Mrs. Sabin for the great recipe!)

For one Stromboli:

1 loaf bread dough (thawed) - I use Rhodes Bread Loaves
1 egg, beaten
Italian seasoning
Pepperoni slices
1/4 lb. thinly sliced hard salami
1/4 lb. shredded mozzarella cheese
1/4 lb. shredded swiss cheese

Roll thawed dough into a 9 x 14-inch rectangle. Brush dough with beaten egg and sprinkle Italian seasoning on top. Line dough with salami. Arrange pepperoni on salami. Sprinkle cheese on top. Roll dough up like a club (using the longer part of the rectangle). Pinch to close openings (along the top and the ends). Place club on greased cookie sheet (with the seam facing down). Top dough with beaten egg and herbs. Bake at 350° for 20-30 minutes, until desired brownness. Slice and serve with your favorite pizza or spaghetti sauce.

Note: You can add/modify ingredient amounts to your liking. I would recommend leaving a gap at the top edge of the dough when adding meat and cheese. This will make it easier to roll up without fillings falling out the top.

Enjoy!